Visible Land

Is it my fault
that I am overwhelmed by memories at night
and I cannot sleep
And I push salty tears in my pillow
seeing you over and over again
telling me the things I always told you
on the phone

I cannot trust you

And then you came to find me
and your smile is empty
you hand me some worthless cash
And I can only say
“I’m not as cheap as you”
And I know it doesn’t make sense in your language
since I never made sense in your language.

I recall the 67th time
a letter I only wrote in my head
I’m reciting it in my head
like a mantra
saying that I am sorry
That I left without saying goodbye
That I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did.

Now I am in the land of Aurora,
you are in the land of Lotus
We’re both walking somewhere between midair
on our own royal road
without forgivness