For you, my past

I can hear the voices at night
The walls are thicker here
they said
solid concrete
like your heart
like your hatred
It tears me apart.

„It’s the foreigners.”
You said those things and you spark
my rage,
my resistance,
and a strange bewilderment:
How could I have ever loved you?
I miss your innocence.
Did I make it vanish?
Or did you never have it?

This country, a demolished wreck
Miserable schooling,
with a rotten culture,
get over it,
just fill the void with plastic.
A lack of social warmth
and charmingly depraved politicians
at least they keep smiling at us.
It‘s always easy to blame the weak.
Don‘t you remember?
They blamed you once, too.

I‘m sorry that I hurt you.
Please hate me.
And hate me only.
Hate me for
breaking your heart.
Don‘t hate immigrants.
Don‘t hate minorities.
Don‘t hate what I stand for.
Only hate me. The person who hurt you once.

„Leave my beloved country!“
you said.
And yes,
look at me now.
I did.